Interested in vegetarian cuisine but tired of beans and rice? Give seitan (pronounced say-TAN) a try. It is a chewy, neutral-flavored, protein-rich food made of wheat gluten. It is sometimes referred to as "wheat-meat". It can be sliced into strips and thrown into a stir fry or shredded and tossed with bbq sauce and most meat eaters wouldn't think twice upon tasting it.

Most of the meat substitutes you purchase at your local grocery store contain TVP, textured vegetable protein. Those products are often great tasting but still quite processed. Many believe seitan has a meatier texture than these TVP fake beef crumbles and fake chicken strips.

One drawback is that seitan can generally only be purchased at a health food store. It is fairly simple, but time consuming to make from scratch. Recipe follows.

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups vital wheat gluten flour
1/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes

1 cup very cold water or vegetable broth
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest

Simmering Broth
10 cups water or vegetable broth
1/2 cup soy sauce

Directions
In a large bowl, mix together Vital Wheat Gluten Flour and nutritional yeast flakes.

In a seperate bowl, mix together reamining ingredients: water or veg broth, soy sauce. tomato paste, garlic, lemon zest.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and combine with a firm spatula, knead dough for about 3 minutes until a spongy, elastic dough is formed. Let dough rest for a couple of minutes and prepare your broth, but don't start boiling it.

Now roll your dough into a log shape about 8 inches long and cut into 3 equal sized pieces. Place the pieces in the broth. It is important that the water/broth be very cold when you add the dough, it helps with the texture and ensures that it doesn't fall apart. Partially cover the pot (leave a little space for steam to escape) and bring to a boil.

When the water has come to a boil set the heat to low and gently simmer for an hour, turning the peices every now and again.

Now you've got gluten. Let it cool in the simmering broth for at least a half an hour. It is best if it cools completely.

What you do next depends on the recipe you are using. If it calls for gluten use it as is. If you want to store some of it for later use put it in a sealable container covered in the simmering broth.

If your recipe calls for seitan cut your peices up as desired. A cast iron skillet produces wonderful flavor and texture. Use as little oil as possible to coat the bottom of the skillet, 1 teaspoon may suffice. Heat the skillet over medium high and add your gluten. Cook for about 20 minutes, turning the pieces occasionally. And there you have it. Yummy seitan.

Mama, I NEEEEEED you!

Multiple times a day, my sweet 2.75 yr old Lucy, utters the words, "Mama, I NEEEED YOOOUUU!". Perhaps utter is not the right word. Sometimes she bellows. whines. cries. screams. Rarely does she whisper.

Busy with something, I usually respond with, "WHAT do you need, Lucy?" I need YOU, Mama." "Ok, but what do you NEED?" I need YOOOUU!!!!" Sometimes, she calls from the couch as she's watching Dora. Sometimes she yells at me from upstairs. Sometimes she comes to me while I'm on the computer with her arms stretched up as far as they'll go. Half the time I give a big SIGH and say, "Ok, Lucy, you've got me. Now what." "I just need you, Mama," she says as she lays her sweet cheek on my shoulder. Now, if that's not enough to melt me, I don't know what is.

Lucy is my reminder that NOW is the most important time of all. She basically beats me over the head with the fact that all she really needs is ME. Just Me. Now. She doesn't care if the kitchen is clean or if all the laundry is done. She doesn't care if there are dust bunnies and dog hair under the couch. She doesn't care if I'm skinny or have on make up. She just needs ME. To be present. NOW.

It's so easy to get caught up in all the daily STUFF. Just trying to get it all done. For what? So I can do it again tomorrow? So I can feel like I DID something??

This year, I resolve to pay more attention to when my children and husband need ME and focus less on what STUFF I think I need to get done in order to feel like I accomplished something today. I will spend less time on the computer and more time cuddling. I will watch less TV and read more with my children. I will try to enjoy playing that hockey game the boys got for Christmas even though I suck at it. I will have more sex. Yes, that's what I said.

What are you going to do this year?

3 Bite Rule

It's that time of year. Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. Pale arms and legs are making an appearance. Have you tried on last summer's shorts? How's that bathing suit treating you?The grass may just seem greener on the other side. Never fear. You can feel good about yourself this Spring and Summer. It's never, ever too late. So what to do?

Tired of weighing things, counting points and worrying about carbs? If so, it might be time to consider a new approach. Have you heard of the 3 bite rule? Mireille Guiliano talks about it in her book, French Women Don't Get Fat. She says if you want to indulge in something, limit yourself to three bites and then move on. In three bites you've experienced it.

Another website, www.wavybrains.com, said something similar: The first bite of something is the best, the second confirms it, and the third is to be savored. After that it's all downhill.

Makes sense, doesn't it? Next time you are faced with a 1200 calorie plate of nachos try savoring just three cheesy, meaty, gooey bites. Any more than that and you're likely to regret it.

Chocolate cake? Do you really need the calories and guilt from the entire piece? Take one bite of chocolaty goodness and really enjoy it. Take another bite and notice the moist texture. Don't think of the third bite as the last but as the best way to enjoy without guilt. It's not the last bite you'll ever have, right?

This just might be the "diet" you are looking for. Try not labeling foods as "good" or "bad". Don't tell yourself that this is the last piece of pizza you'll ever have. Focus on moderation and enjoyment instead of restrictions and ultimatums. It is often our attitudes about food, not the food itself that is our downfall. Give it a try. Be kind to yourself. Enjoy!

Mystery Solved

I know we've all said it . . . . what the hell could have happened to those f*#!ng socks?? Well, guess where we found these babies?

My dryer was taking about 3 times longer to dry clothes than it should so, on a hunch, I asked my dear husband to check out the vent thing that shoots all the dryer steam outside. Lo and behold, he stuck his hand in and pulled out SOCKS. They had been sucked out of the dryer into the vent thingy and it was all clogged up! Holy Crap!! Just imagine all those socks that have been sucked right out of the house and sent flying up to sock heaven. What happens to them? They could be picked up by a neighboring dog, a stray cat, a squirrel or some wandering, crazed housewife who has finally reached her limit with mismatched socks.

Personally, I have found some comfort in this. I am not crazy. There is a black hole and it's stealing my socks.

Live from the Red Carpet

It's a good thing I wasn't invited to any Oscar parties turned down all those Oscar party invites. It affords me the opportunity to sit and watch, laptop at the ready, giving you my immediate reactions and observations. Otherwise, I would have been drinking and having fun and chatting. Now I'm just drinking. typing. drinking. typing. I've banished my children to the upper chambers and I'm enjoying a bottle glass of Jacobs Creek Reserve. Yes, that's right. Reserve. I usually drink the regular cheap cheap Jacobs Creek but tonight definitely calls for the Reserve.

If I don't publish my observations tonight then tomorrow they will seem (accurately so) completely irrelevant. So here goes.

Anne Hathaway is a true fashionista. I imagine I would be like her if I were 6 inches taller and an actress.

Mickey Rourke, 56, was still extremely disturbing. Although well spoken, he sported a Loki charm of his deceased 18 yr old chihuahua around his neck. My bad. I didn't realize he was gay.

You gotta love Sohpia Loren but it's time she stay home. She's not doing herself any favors.

Marisa Tomei, 43, is my idol. Nominated for best supporting actress for playing a stripper in The Wrestler, she is amazing. She didn't win the award but she won my heart.

Brad & Angie. Of course, I love them both but does she own any other style of dress?

Kate Winslet, The Reader, lovely as ever. I also imagine myself as her if I were a famous actress. She seems very 'real'.

Does anyone really like Beyonce's clothing line? I feel like it's a secret joke Hollywood is playing on us. One day we'll show up in those god awful outfits and everyone will scream "SUUUCKERRRR!"

Why is Jessica Beil at the Oscars. Did I miss something?

I love Robert Downey Jr. He looks amazing after all those yrs of hard living.

Josh Brolin and Diane Lane. It's like looking in a mirror. Me and Chad.

I thought Sarah Jessica left her troll of a husband. He's headed for Broadway. Heeellloooo. He's gay.

Taraji P Henson. supporting actress for Benjamin Button. Don't know who she is but she is so cute!

All of you Botox naysayers, did you notice how many of the stars have obviously had it?! Young, old and in between. So There! And I really don't want to hear anything about how I'm not a movie star so why am I comparing myself to them. Fuck you. That's what I say to that. I am a star in my own movie every g*damn day.

I thought Hugh Jackman was hot until he started dancing around like a fag. Disappointing.

WTF. I just noticed Mickey has a silver tooth. Every time he starts to redeem himself I'm struck by yet another fucked up thing about him. Disturbing. Who advises him?

Now I can't decide if I'd rather be Kate Winslet or Tina Fey.

When you watch these shows are you bored? Envious? Happy with exactly where you are in your life? Does it effect you a little, a lot, or not at all. I think I have been more apt to compare myself in my later years. When I was young it seemed like I still had a chance. But as everyone gets older it seems like something really unfair is going on. Nonetheless, I am comforted by the fact that I don't need/desire accolades from millions of people. I am quite happy with myself and my life.

The only thing I require is that my children do the "Hi Mom" thing when they are being interviewed after a game, play or recital.

I felt bad for Jen A up there. I can't imagine anything worse than standing before Brad and Angelina and their 50 kids. I think I would do the honorable thing and stab myself with my sword. Bravo to her for giving it an outstanding effort though.

Sank you, sank you, sank you belly much. Domo arigato. mista robato.

If you didn't get that then you weren't watching. But thanks for checking in. xo

Quick Jambalya

This is my shortcut recipe to jambalya. It can be ready in thirty minutes and it always gets rave reviews. My one official follower, DC Taste, is a chef in DC so this is not for her but for all the rest of you looking for a quick and easy meal that is sure to please.

* 1 box Zatarains Jambalya mix (usually in the rice aisle at your grocery store) Follow the directions on the box to cook but use a little more water than it calls for (I use chicken stock instead of water because I like it extra salty)

* Add 1 can of diced tomatoes, any variety. No need to drain.

* Add 1 large can of chicken (bigger than your normal tuna can). It's right by the canned tuna. It's great for casseroles or dishes like this. No need to drain. I like my jambalaya a little saucy. Like me.

While the above is cooking, pan fry some spicy andouille sausage or hot links. You can find them by the hot dogs. I slice up about two links and saute it until its a little charred and then dump it in the jambalaya pot, grease and all.

Let it all cook the 25 min or so that it says on the box and you're done! It's delicious.

Other nice additions are a little sauteed celery or onions. Thawed frozen shrimp, sauteed in the sausage grease is good too.

It's great with cornbread. Get that going while you're waiting for the water/stock to boil. Chopped jalepenos or canned corn are great additions to a plain cornbread batter (these would need to be drained : )

Spring Haiku

We have had such cold temps here in Pittsburgh and this weekend was our first glimpse of Spring. It was wonderful. While at the park I was inspired to write my first Haiku of the year.

Cloudy eyes confused
Fresh faces smiling all day
Pale shy skin peeks out

Little toes are bare
Feeling the grass and pavement
Squishing in the mud

Bubbles are blowing
Doors are open, flies are in
Dust off your scooter